>> Flapjack: [ LAUGHING ]
>> K'nuckles: OH, YOU HAVE SOME RAINBOW ON YA.
[ TWINKLE! ] OOH, NOW IT'S ON ME!
>> Flapjack: [ LAUGHS ] LOOK! IT'S SWANS! AND WHERE THERE'S SWANS, THERE'S HAPPY SONGS!
>> K'nuckles: I WANT TO GO THERE!
>> Flapjack: Use your inside voice.
>> K'nuckles: OOPSIES!
>> Flapjack: IT'S THE MOODY MANTICORE THAT WANTS TO DESTROY OUR HAPPINESS ON HAPPY ISLAND!
>> [ ROARS ]
>> K'nuckles: DON'T LET HIM HAVE MY HAPPINESS, FLAPPY!
>> Flapjack: DON'T WORRY. I'LL PROTECT IT.
>> K'nuckles: HOW?!
>> Flapjack: WITH MY TICKLING!
>> [ LAUGHING ] THANK YOU, ADVENTURER! I DON'T FEEL MOODY ANYMORE! CAN I HAVE SOME MORE OF YOUR FABULOUS TICKLES?
>> Bubbie: AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER ON HAPPY ISLAND. THE END.
>> Flapjack: YAY!
I LOVE THE PART WHERE YOU HAVE ME BLOW THE BIG BUBBLES, BUT K'NUCKLES WAS TOO SCARED TO GET IN, AND I TOLD HIM HE WAS ACTING LIKE A BABY 'CAUSE HE WAS!
BUT THEN HE DIDN'T CARE, AND WE BOTH STARTED TICKLING!
[ LAUGHS ] YOU TOLD THAT SO GOOD, BUBBIE.
[ SNIFFLES ] WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE PART, CAP'N?
>> K'nuckles: I HATE BEDTIME FABLES.
>> Bubbie: THEY'RE NOT FABLES.
THEY'RE SUCCULENT STORIES THAT WHISK YOU AWAY TO MAGICAL PLACES.
>> K'nuckles: WELL, THEY'RE NOT SO MAGICAL TO ME!
YOU ALWAYS MAKE FLAP THE HERO!
AND I ALWAYS SOUND LIKE A BIG BABY!
>> Bubbie: REALLY? I NEVER NOTICED.
>> K'nuckles: AND WHAT'S WITH THE HAPPY ENDINGS ALL THE TIME?
THAT ONE HAD THE WORST HAPPY ENDING EVER.
I MEAN, WHAT?
WE DEFEATED A VENOMOUS MANTICORE WITH -- WITH TICKLERS?
THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN!
>> Bubbie: FINE. OKAY, HERE'S ONE WITH AN UNHAPPY ENDING. ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS A LONELY SKIFF ADRIFT AT SEA IN A STORM.
>> Flapjack: CLOSE YOUR EYES, CAP'N.
It feels more real that way.
>> K'nuckles: OHH.
[ HARP PLAYS ]
>> Flapjack: OKAY, BUBBIE, WE'RE HERE. NOW WHAT?
>> K'nuckles: YEAH!
THIS DOESN'T SEEM TOO STORMY!
>> Bubbie: THERE WERE 5-FOOT WAVES.
>> K'nuckles: EH.
>> Bubbie: 10-FOOT WAVES?
>> Flapjack: WHOA!
>> K'nuckles: EH.
>> Bubbie: 100-FOOT WAVES!
>> K'nuckles: NOW WE'RE TALKING!
>> Bubbie: AND THE SAILS WERE... TATTERED!
>> K'nuckles: TATTERED?
>> Bubbie: ON FIRE!
>> K'nuckles: YEAH!
>> Flapjack: OH, MY GOODNESS!
>> K'nuckles: I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING!
>> Flapjack: THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
>> Bubbie: UH...UH...
>> K'nuckles: BRING HER HOME, BUBBIE!
>> Bubbie: A-A-AND THEN...FLAPJACK USES HIS TICKLERS!
>> K'nuckles: WHAT?!
>> Flapjack: TICKLING!
YIPPEE!
[ LAUGHS ] >> [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
>> Flapjack: WHOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!
WHOOPEE!
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ] BUNNIES!
[ GIGGLING ]
>> K'nuckles: YOU'RE RUINING THIS, KID!
>> Bubbie: I GUESS I CAN'T TELL STORIES WITH UNHAPPY ENDINGS.
>> K'nuckles: WHATEVER!
I'M LEAVING!
>> Flapjack: WAIT.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
>> K'nuckles: TO THE OPPOSITE OF HERE!
COME ON!
[ THUNDER CRASHES ] I USED TO COME HERE AS A KID,
LISTEN TO STORIES ABOUT LIFE, REAL LIFE.
NO BUNNIES OR RAINBOWS, I'LL TELL YA THAT MUCH.
>> [ Echoing ] GATHER ROUND.
AND SHUT YOUR EYES!
I DON'T WANT ANY OF YOU LOOKING AT ME WHILE I'M TELLING STORIES!
THIS BE THE WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME.
IT WAS 40 YEARS AGO TONIGHT. I WAS ON A WRECKING SHIP IN THE SEA OF TEETH. MY ACCOMMODATIONS WERE ECONOMY CLASS. YOU'VE BEEN AT SEA FOR NEARLY EIGHT MONTHS. YOU'RE OUT OF FOOD...AND WATER. YOUR MASTER WAS SICK WITH THE SCURVY, SO WEAK HE COULD BARELY 8LIFT YOUR WHIP.
>> [ Voice breaking ] COME ON, YOU GUYS, ROW!
>> AND THEN THINGS GOT BAD.
[ CRASH! ] WE BUMPED INTO A SEA MONSTER.
>> [ HOWLING ] >> HE GRABBED OUR SHIP AND LIFTED IT OUT OF THE WATER.
>> [ ROARS ] >> IT WAS A HORRIFIC SIGHT!
I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT. USE THE TICKLERS!
>> K'nuckles: HOW WAS THAT THE WORST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED YOU YA?!
>> 'CAUSE MY OAR BROKE?
>> K'nuckles: COME ON, FLAP!
THAT PLACE HAS CHANGED.
WHERE ELSE CAN WE GO TO GET AN UNHAPPY ENDING?
>> Flapjack: HOW ABOUT DR. BARBER'S?
>> K'nuckles: YEAH, PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS LEAVING THAT PLACE CRYING.
[ RATTLE! ] >> HMM. HMM.
[ BELL RINGS ] AH, CUSTOMERS. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
>> Flapjack: DO YOU HAVE ANY STORIES?
>> SURGERY?
>> Flapjack: NO, JUST STORIES.
>> K'nuckles: YEAH, ONE WITH AN UNHAPPY ENDING.
>> HMM. AH! SO, THERE'S THESE TWO GUYS -- K'NUCKLES -- K'NUPPLES -- K'NAPPLES AND JACKFLAP. AND THEY THINK THEY WANT A STORY. BUT WHAT THEY REALLY WANT IS SURGERY. THEY DRINK SOME OF DR. BARBER'S TEA AND FALL ASLEEP. AND WHEN THEY WAKE UP... SURGERY!
>> WOOF! WOOF!
>> WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TEA?
>> K'nuckles: I WANTED AN UNHAPPY ENDING, NOT A CREEPSHOW.
>> I HEARD YOU BOYS WERE LOOKING FOR UNHAPPY ENDINGS.
>> K'nuckles: YEAH, DO YOU GOT SOME?
[ HARP PLAYS ] >> NO, MY LIFE'S AWESOME.
BUT WHY DON'T YOU TRY THE CANDY BARREL?
>> HMM.
SO, STORIES WITH UNHAPPY ENDINGS, HUH?
SORRY, FELLAS.
ALL MY STORIES ARE...
[ LAUGHS MANIACALLY ] [ SIGHS ]
...FUNNY.
CANDY WIFE, DO YOU GOT ANY?
YEAH, TELL 'EM THAT ONE!
DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE PART WITH THE FISH.
SHE ALWAYS LEAVES OUT THE FISH.
>> THE ENDING TO THE STORY IS THE BEST PART.
>> K'nuckles: BECAUSE IT'S UNHAPPY?
>> NO, BECAUSE IT ENDS WHERE IT STARTED.
YOU SEE, IT'S A CYCLICAL ENDING.
>> K'nuckles: [ GROWLS ] >> THAT'S NOT REALLY AN ENDING.
IT'S MORE OF A TAGLINE.
>> K'nuckles: [ GROWLS ] >> THAT'S THE BEST IRONIC ENDING EVER!
>> NICE POETIC ENDING.
>> I KNOW A PYRRHIC ENDING WHEN I HEAR ONE!
>> I LOVE FIRST-PERSON ENDINGS.
>> THAT ENDING MAKES ME BLUSH!
>> K'nuckles: AAH!
AAH! WHY?!
>> Flapjack: CAP'N! CAP'N!
>> K'nuckles: SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO APPRECIATES SADNESS. I JUST WANT AN UNHAPPY STORY, FLAPPY.
>> Flapjack: [ GASPS ] YOU SHOULD TELL IT, CAP'N.
>> K'nuckles: ME?!
>> Flapjack: YEAH, YOU'RE THE UNHAPPIEST GUY I KNOW.
>> K'nuckles: YEAH, I'M THE UNHAPPIEST GUY I KNOW, TOO.
>> Flapjack: SO THEN DO IT.
>> K'nuckles: YOU REALLY THINK I'M UP TO IT?
>> Flapjack: MM-HMM.
>> K'nuckles: ALL RIGHT, I'M DOING IT!
BUT FIRST...
CLOSE YOUR EYES!
ONCE, THERE WAS -- >> Flapjack: YOU'RE COMING, TOO, RIGHT?
>> K'nuckles: OH, RIGHT, OF COURSE.
ONCE, THERE WAS...
WHERE'S THE UNHAPPINESS?
>> Flapjack: You have to make it up.
>> K'nuckles: OH, UH...
IT WAS DARK.
[ CRICKETS CHIRPING ] WE'RE IN A FIELD!
THERE'S STORM CLOUDS AND TREES!
DEAD TREES!
HOW AM I DOING?
>> Flapjack: IT'S PRETTY UNHAPPY!
[ LAUGHS ] >> K'nuckles: THEN WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?
FORGET THE FIELDS!
WE'RE IN A...CEMETERY...
AND SURROUNDED BY THE HOWLING OF DOGS...AND LIVING SKELETON WARRIORS FROM DEATH ISLAND!
AND THEY'RE CLAWING FROM THEIR GRAVES!
K'nuckles: WHOO!
NOW WE'RE TALKING.
AND THERE'S A CYCLOPS...
AND A GIANT SQUID!
WHOA, WATCH IT THERE, BUDDY.
THAT WAS A LITTLE TOO CLOSE.
HEY!
>> Flapjack: CAP'N!
>> K'nuckles: FLAP?
K'nuckles: RUN!
>> Flapjack: WHAT DO WE DO, CAP'N?
>> K'nuckles: LET'S END THIS STORY! AND THEY LIVED UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER!
[ SCREECHING AND HOWLING ] AND THEY LIVED UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER!
AND THEY LIVED UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER!
[ SCREECHING AND HOWLING ] I HATE TO SAY IT, BUT I COULD SURE USE ONE OF THEM HAPPY ENDINGS!
>> Flapjack: I got an idea. TICKLERS!
>> K'nuckles: WE'RE DEAD.
>> Flapjack: [ WHIMPERS ]
I NEED MORE TICKLERS, CAP'N!
>> [ SCREECHING ] >> K'nuckles: MY TICKLERS ARE BUSY!
>> YOU CAN BORROW MINE!
>> Flapjack: MANTICORE!
>> K'nuckles: AAH!
>> Flapjack: THANK YOU,
MANTICORE.
>> K'nuckles: HOW DID YOU KNOW WE WERE HERE?
>> SHE TOLD ME.
>> Flapjack: BUBBIE!
>> K'nuckles: I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU.
I SCARED MYSELF.
>> Bubbie: AND HE LIVED UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER.
THE END.
>> K'nuckles: ♪ ADVENTURE IS A SAD THING ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪
♪ DANGER ISN'T DANGEROUS ♪ ♪ SINCE YOU LEFT HOME ♪
♪ NO, NO ♪ ♪ ADVENTURING'S A SAD THING ♪
♪ WITHOUT YOU ♪ ♪ WITHOUT YOU ♪
>> Flapjack: AY-AY-AY-AY-AY-AY!